Spice Up Your Sex Life with the Colonel

Published on Feb 27, 2013 in Features, Front Page

Why turn to Cosmo or the Kama Sutra when you have the Colonel to spice up your sex life? Here are a couple of our favorite tried-and-true sex positions to help you bring some excitement back into the bedroom: The Giraffe—You both wear high heels. For an added effect, be sure to make giraffe sounds. The Wes Anderson—Make awkward small talk about your troubled childhood– preferably with your adopted sibling– then in the midst of...

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UK To Spend $110 Million on Improving Students’ Education Experience

Published on Feb 25, 2013 in Campus, Front Page

The Kentucky General Assembly overwhelmingly adopted House Bill 7 last week, authorizing the University of Kentucky to self-finance three projects totaling $275 million. Two of these include a renovation and expansion of the Gatton College of Business and Economics, as well as construction of a new science building. However, the main project turning heads will be an unprecedented $110 million investment into the educational experience of UK’s...

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Your Weekly Horoscope

Published on Feb 24, 2013 in Front Page, Horoscopes

  Aries (March 21 – April 19) You will not not catch your roommate masturbating on your bed this Wednesday.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) The stars wish that they could help you out of this pile of shit you’ve gotten yourself into, but even they have a policy of never fucking with the Triad.   Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You’ll be happy to discover that your kitchen table is actually functional as a time machine,...

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Recent Spike In Alcohol Poisonings Among UK Students Caused by Mark Stoops

Published on Feb 23, 2013 in Campus, Front Page, Sports

Hospitals around Lexington, Kentucky have seen a recent spike in alcohol related visits to their emergency rooms.  While most Emergency Room physicians equate the rise to the return of college students after winter break, University of Kentucky athletic officials have a different idea as to the cause. Mark Stoops was hired last semester as the new head football coach at UK, and while this was three months ago, the effects of his hire are now...

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U.S. Government Definitely Not Interested in Afghanistan, Iraq Because of Oil, Minerals, Natural Gas, Dominion Over Middle East, Protection of Israeli Apartheid, Imperialism, Racism

Published on Feb 20, 2013 in Front Page, U.S., World

According to the latest Pentagon report, the U.S. government is officially “definitely not interested in Afghanistan or Iraq because of oil, minerals, natural gas, dominion over the Middle East, the protection of Israeli apartheid against Palestinians, imperialism, or racism. Its internationally-illegal, genocidal occupations, it turns out, were actually, according to the report, to “promote freedom, equality, and democracy.” This comes as...

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