Imperialist Intervention (I.I.) Goes Surprisingly Well

Published on Oct 10, 2013 in Front Page, U.S., World

President Barack Obama returned home to the White House late last Sunday after a long day of building his empire when he was surprised by an Imperialist Intervention. Many were in attendance: his closest friends Dick Cheney and Rupert Murdoch, his wife, distant relatives from Kenya, and even the Jonas Brothers (whom the young Obama sisters were delighted to see). Everyone spoke from personal experiences so as to create an open dialogue and have...

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An Original Haiku

Published on Oct 9, 2013 in Campus, Front Page

An Original Haiku Lovingly Composed To The Beautiful People Living Above Me (Who, from the Sound of Things, Apparently Run A 24-Hour Bowling Alley In Their Apartment), or, The Ceiling Is Too High Up To Pound On With A Broom; Damn It All To Hell You do not care, but. I have an exam at 8. Please shut the fuck up. — by Rosie Summers

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Cat’s Den Rocked by Performance Art

Published on Oct 8, 2013 in Campus, Front Page

Cat’s Den–What is usually a lounge for casual games of pool, competitive rounds of gaming, and the occasional line of coke in the bathroom for many UK students became the centerpiece for a mesmerizing display of modern performance art today as local artist Kathleen Bendir brought her working exhibit ‘Furthest’ to the Cat’s Den. Bendir, 26, is currently a grad student in Fine Arts at the University....

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Big Blue Madness Approaching

Published on Oct 7, 2013 in Front Page, Sports

October is among us, and that can only mean one thing: Halloween. But before that, there’s UK’s favorite late-night event. Big Blue Madness. People will camp out in advance for about a week on the sidewalks surrounding Memorial Coliseum to get tickets to witness the first practice of the season for the Women’s Basketball team. “The fact that people will camp out on the cold, hard ground for days to watch us practice is just nuts,”...

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