PORTLAND, OR –

Adidas has decided that neon camo is just not good enough for their fans. The solution? Lights.

Following the success of their highlighter themed 2013 NCAA tournament uniforms, Adidas has announced that they will be releasing a fully-functioning LED uniform for next year’s tourney. Director of Marketing Matthew Franklin stated in a press release that, “due to the response we’ve received from fans, who claim that there is no way they’ll forget watching the sponsored teams play in our uniforms, we’ve decided to give the fans more of what they want: brighter uniforms.”

The new uniforms, powered by two AA batteries, would not be the first clothing line that Adidas has tried to add lights to in the past. With the 1986 hit “My Adidas” by rap group Run-DMC, Adidas released a pair of their shoes featuring flashing incandescent bulbs.

The shoes were a massive failure as they attributed to several house fires. When asked whether Adidas feared similar results with their LED uniforms. Franklin, in an interview with Sports Nation, replied, “While we have heard the concerns of some, we feel that in order to meet the fans’ desire for vibrant uniforms we just have to take the risk. As long as nobody sweats profusely, the uniforms are completely safe to wear during game play.”

Colonel reporters traveled to the University of Louisville, one of Adidas’ sponsored schools, to talk to students about their opinion on the company’s bold move. Andrew Pierce, a sophomore biology major, told me while trimming his chin strap, “[explicative] yeah! I can’t [explicative] wait to buy one. L1C4!”

BY JAY O’MALLEY