Big, Dumb Open Mic Night: A Night To Remember

Published on Mar 9, 2015 in Campus, Features, Front Page

LEXINGTON, KY– As many of you will doubtless already know, the crossover event known as the Big, Dumb Open Mic Night, hosted last Friday by both UK’s esteemed literary magazine, Shale, and UK’s finest student-run newspaper, The Colonel, was an overwhelming success. The editors of both publications reserved the Cats Den for the evening in order to showcase a variety of student talents, such as stand-up comedy, poetry readings, falconry,...

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Line at Ovid’s Causes UK Students to Graduate Late

Published on Feb 19, 2015 in Campus, Features, Front Page

LEXINGTON, KY— According to university faculty, the average time taken to complete a four-year degree at the University of Kentucky is actually five years, and speculation as to the cause of this delay is rising. Many point to the obscenely long lines that develop at Ovid’s. The lines have been an issue of concern for years, but recently they have reached an unprecedented level of debate due to their increasing size. Lines frequently expand...

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Flares Used To Prevent Roosting In William T. Young Library

Published on Dec 10, 2014 in Campus, Features, Front Page

LEXINGTON, KY- Autumn brings cool air, falling leaves, and freshman girls pining for romance. However, the natural unhappy state of these lovelorn creatures was interrupted when this year’s K Book announced that the fifth floor is the “best place on campus to get a date.” Since the arrival of pumpkin spice lattes, freshmen have flocked to the library to make nests on the fifth floor. Librarian Sylvia Snow is perplexed about the...

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