Imperialist Intervention (I.I.) Goes Surprisingly Well

Published on Oct 10, 2013 in Front Page, U.S., World

President Barack Obama returned home to the White House late last Sunday after a long day of building his empire when he was surprised by an Imperialist Intervention. Many were in attendance: his closest friends Dick Cheney and Rupert Murdoch, his wife, distant relatives from Kenya, and even the Jonas Brothers (whom the young Obama sisters were delighted to see). Everyone spoke from personal experiences so as to create an open dialogue and have...

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Canadian Troops Nearing North Dakota Border 12 hours into Government Shutdown

Published on Oct 1, 2013 in Front Page, U.S.

BISMARK – Local North Dakota state police have reported seeing what appears to be a build-up of Canadian troops at the nation’s border. Many are speculating that this move by Canada was brought aboot by last night’s shutdown of the United States Government. Among the federal employees that are being affected by this shutdown are many members of the US Armed Forces. The Colonel was granted an interview with the Canadian Ambassador in...

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Obama: I have a drone

Published on Sep 12, 2013 in Front Page, U.S.

The Colonel has attended and transcribed Barack Obama’s “I have a drone” speech for the convenience of UK Colonel readers. The speech was delivered on the 50th anniversary of the March On Washington for Jobs and Freedom on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013: I have a drone, that one day, will strike thousands of innocent men, women, and children, and take their lives. And in that drone will be uranium mined by indigenous peoples upon...

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Michigan Senate Makes Most Significant Decision in Centuries

Published on Jun 5, 2013 in Features, Front Page, U.S.

The Michigan Senate has just made one of the most significant decisions in centuries. Tuesday, 4 June, the Michigan Senate voted to recognize “International Talk Like a Pirate Day.” “This decision will have crucial implications on the life of Michiganders,” explained Sen. Roger Kahn (R-Saginaw), the man who proposed the resolution. The Colonel interviewed average Michiganians, asking their thoughts on the recent...

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